Death to the MarySue
by Krystal Kerro Sky
Summary: The Invasion of the MarySues has begun. But there is a simple solution, and Jak is using it to his advantage. For all those Selfinserts.


Jak stared wide eyed down at the city. He was placed precariously at the top of the Freedom League Head Quarters, but his placement had nothing to do with what was freaking him out at that point in time. It was what was happening below in the streets had had him holding onto the railing with a white knuckle grip.

With a short cape attached to the shoulder guards of his armor, and the patches replaced with new and more comfortable cloth, the warrior looked regal; if not deadly clean in his 'royal' garb. Ashelin had asked him to dress up, and he grudgedly complied. Now he wished he could rip it off and scream at the mayhem below.

"What the HELL is going on down there! What ARE those things!" No one was shocked to hear him scream, seeing the spurts of dark lightning shoot off him. They also had no idea.

"I have no idea, Jak. They just started appearing throughout the whole city, and then moved this way. I'm gettin' reports from Guards saying that they are still appearing and moving this way. Some are dying by the hands of KG robot and Metal Heads. Some are fighting the enemy. But..." Torn drifted off, shaking his head. "This is not what I thought would happen." 

"We were supposed to destroy our enemy, and then live happily ever after. Well..." Jak replied, his voice soft. "Can someone find out what the hell they want?"

"You, Mar." Ashelin would not stop calling him that. "They want to meet you, from what I understand."

A look of disgust passed, and remained on the young kings face. The lip curled up, an eyebrow twitched, and the nose wrinkled. With teeth barred in disgust, crystalline blue eyes went wide with a thought. the disgust turned into reckless joy.

"Then we give them what they want." Jak spun around, looking into the faces of Ashelin, Torn, Sig, Keira, Samos, Jinx, and everyone else that joined him on the roof. "Tell them they can meet me if they get rid of the Metal Heads and Krimzon Robots. They can have me if they make sure those things never return."

Every stared open-mouthed and the insane suggestion.

"Jak... are... you... all right? You are going to give yourself to those things--"

Jak looked to Torn with a grin and a nod. "Yes. It is impossible to get rid of either side, so why not make them fight each other. Recall all the guards, and then I'll tell them they can have what they want if they do that. It is brilliant!"

"Mar, it is also suicide! What if they succeed?" Ashelin demanded, taking a step closer.

"Then.. Well, I figure that out when the time comes." Jak looked back over the edge to the things down there. It was the ugliest assortment of young women he had ever seen. They had been appearing from either little blips of smoke, light, or eco, or in the form of crystals, falling through portals in the air, or, Precursors forbid, the screens of the computer terminals. He had to fight of a lot of grabbing hands before coming up to the roof. They KNEW he had been there, and he had lost his goggles to the maniacs. Now he would get rid of them.

"Jak, we have the speakers set up. Here is the mic."

Jak just held out a hand, and the microphone was placed in his hand. Looking down to the creatures below, he spoke. His words were short and sweet, clearly outlining what they had to do to get their prize. Many went running off to do what he asked. They died quickly.

He turned the microphone off when he was done, handing it back to the person behind him. Those things were running off to go die against something that they could never kill. He had easily taken care of the problem by offering what it wanted instead of taking it head on. What had Damas told him; wait for his enemies' weakness to be revealed? This enemy's weakness was its lust.

"If any survive, I suggest calling them Mary-Sues. They are stupid like that name is, and it fits." Jak said with such confidence that everyone else agreed.

The day was looking better already.


End file.
